The Birth of McKennah - October 2, 2007

On Monday morning October 1st I was woken up at 2:30 AM by some cramp-like contractions that seemed different than the Braxton-Hicks contactions that I had been feeling for weeks. I noted them and rolled over and tried to go back to sleep. However they were coming 15-10 minutes apart and I decided that I couldn't quite sleep through them, so I got up and went to the kitchen to wash the dishes from the night before. I then cleaned up my house, and by this time Matthew got up to go to work. I told him that he should take our cell phone with him and keep it on him that morning and day so that if i should need to reach him I could. I kissed him good bye and tried to go back to sleep.

By 4:30am I called Matt at work and told him that I thought this was maybe it, and that he should probably start getting things ready at Rockwell for the two-week paternity leave he would be taking. The rest of that day went on normally, I would pause once in a while to note how the contractions were different, but really nothing was significantly changing from that morning. They were still 10 minutes apart and not that painful.

My friend Megan came over to watch the boys so I could go to my doctor's, and she ended up staying all day to help me with the boys. By 3:30pm, I had her call Matt's mom to ask her to come and pick the boys up. Matt's parents and Michelle all came over and we had chicken for dinner. Things were starting to pick up but still not overly painful. They left around 6:30pm and when my mom called to see how I was, I told her to get ready to come over and Matt left to go get her. I called Jan at this point and told her that I thought maybe she should come out too.

By 9:30 that night, the contractions had picked up to about 5-7 minutes apart and were increasingly stronger so that when I would have one, they would make me stop what I was doing. Jan checked me sometime after that, and announced that I was only 2 centimeters dilated... not in active labor. That hit me like a ton of bricks and I wanted to cry.

Jan got on the phone with my doctor and they talked for 20 minutes. Meanwhile Matthew, my mom and I all talked about what could be going on. My mom reminded me that my last two labors hadn't really progessed until after my waters had broken, and that it had been similar for her. I knew these contractions were different, and I was confused and irritated that they weren't making big changes in me. Jan came back into our room and sent my mom out so she could talk to Matt and I alone. She told me that McKennah's head wasn't putting enough pressure on my cervix due to the way she was positioned, so therefore I wasn't dilating very fast even though I was still having all these early labor contractions. She told me not to be discouraged, that these things take time, and she had no doubts that I was in early labor and I would just need to be patient. We all talked and prayed for a while. I told Jan that I thought that if she could break my bag of waters, things would go quickly and I would have my baby within 3 hours (as had happened in the past). She was hesitant to do so when I wasn't very dilated, but decided to honor my request.

Matthew left for an hour to go into Rockwell to close up his office and while he was gone my contractions were picking up to about 3 minutes apart. I was now in active labor and hadn't even had my water broken yet. Jan needed to monitor McKennah's heart tones for an hour during contractions before she could break the water. This was just to be on the safe side and cover all bases.

McKennah was as happy as a clam during it all, with safe-sounding heart tones. So when Matt came back home from closing up, we went into our bedroom and Jan examined me one more time and then broke my waters. The fluid was clear and there was a lot of it and it kept on coming and coming. That was at midnight that the water bag was broken.

The rest of the night was... well, it was interesting. From midnight to 3am, I went into our laboring tub to help ease the pain and pressure... it was wonderful!The tub helped me a lot, it took gravity off of a lot of pressure points. Those were some difficult hours though, even in spite of the tub's warm water. At around 4:30am Jan did another check on me to see how my progress was and we found me to only be dilated to 4 centimeters. This news was so disheartening to me... I felt broken and frustrated because I was in so much pain and  discomfort and not even half way done! She suggested that I try and lay down for a while and rest, but every time I would lay down the contractions would come harder and be so much more painful than if I were sitting upright.

At this time, I was exhausted. I had been laboring since 2:30 the morning before and I was not only tired but I was in more and more pain. I started to fall asleep during contractions though, and at some point during that time I got really confused and would wake up with each onset of a contraction and think I had been asleep for 20 minutes or more. I panicked and asked Matt if he thought the contractions were dying down and he lovingly but quickly reasured me that no they weren't and in fact they were three minutes apart from beginning of one to the beginning of another, which meant that I was getting a one minute break in between and meant that I was sleeping for a minute at a time!

I was floored at this news though. I asked Matt to come down next to me (I was sitting on the floor with a pillow propped against the bed and leaning into it) and I told him that I was discouraged and scared. I told him that I wanted more than anything to have this experience but I wasn't sure that I could and I was heartbroken even thinking that maybe I really didn't have what it took to get through this. My husband then lovingly put his arms around me and softly whispered in my ear that he loved me and that our Savior was with me and no matter what my decision was, he would support me. Then he went on to say that he knew I could do this and that he had all the faith in the world that I was capable of going through with it. I cried for a bit and told him that I just needed him to continue to hold me up and remind me that Jesus was right there.

We then called Jan into our room and she sat down beside me and I told her how I was feeling, I asked her if she thought I could do this and she responded in love that yes, she felt I could physically make it through, that God designed our bodies to be able to  give birth  naturally. However she also told me that she knew I was emotionally worn out and that I would need to start praying for strength emotionally.

She wanted to check my progress in dilation again and when she was checking me I went from 4 to 6 centimeters! I then told her that I wanted to get into the tub again and she helped me get into it. It was then that the contractions got really really bad, and I was having a difficult time getting through each one. I didn't want anyone but Matt to touch me, and every time he would get up to go do something, I would panic and beg him not to leave me. He assured me he wasn't going far and he was right there beside me. I needed him more than any one and I would cry out to him during each contraction and beg him to hold me. He would hold me through each and then I would rest. At one point I felt like I needed to push and I told Jan this, so she checked me again and told me that I shouldn't push yet because I was only 8.5 centimeters and not quite ready. I nearly lost it at that point.

The whole world closed in and I got this feeling that this was never going to end. I started crying hysterically and I remember verbally crying out to God asking Him to please show Himself to me and hold me through the next contractions. I went into this little world that I only allowed Matt in to, and closed myself up in this "shell" to get through the contractions, praying that God would be merciful and that it would end soon. At one point I remember saying that I wanted someone to do this now, I no longer wanted to have the baby (as if that were an option!) At another point I screamed because they were so painful and Jan and my mom started crying. Jan grabbed onto my hand and told me I would be okay, she then told me to open my eyes and look into the face of my Savior, that Jesus was right there with me standing in front of me, standing beside me and holding me through it all. She cried and started praying and told me that God knew I could do this, that He created me for this purpose and that I needed to "see" Him and trust him in these moments. Between contractions I prayed and prayed that God would continue to help.

All of a sudden I felt the need to push and I yelled that I needed to push NOW. Jan told me to do what I needed to do and I started pushing with all my might. I then stopped and panicked because I felt this pop and burning sensation and I asked her in a panic what that was, she assured me that it was normal and before she could even finish saying that, I got another contraction and I pushed as hard as I could. Matthew climbed into the tub behind me and held me up in a reclining postition as pushed her out.

Everyone started crying and encouraging me that she was coming, and I just kept pushing until Jan told me I needed to stop and breathe. I stopped for a minute, although to me it felt like an hour, and Jan helped turn her shoulders and I pushed her out the rest of the way!

There she was, our beautiful little princess. Jan and everyone else cried and kept saying how beautiful she was! McKennah didn't even cry that much, she just opened her eyes, looked around and squeaked this little squeak to let us know she was there! We stayed in the pool, Matthew, McKennah and I for about a half hour and then we all climbed out and snuggled on the futon together until Jan finished doing all the examining she needed to do on me and McKennah.

Afterwards I went and cleaned up a bit and then Matt and I and our daughter climbed into bed together and fell asleep!

I want to thank God for His Mercy and Love through this. I could not have done it with out His presence there with me.

I want to thank my Husband for the wonderful calming presence he was to me throughout the whole experience. Matthew, you are an amazing man. I would not have known what to do if you had not been there. I am so amazingly blessed to have you in my life, I am so blessed to be your wife, and I thank you for giving me these wonderful children. It is an honor to mother your children... Thank You.

I want to thank my mother for being there... for giving me life so that I could experience this for myself. For being so giving and selfless in her time and efforts towards me and my family. You are an amazing woman and I love you so much.

I also want to thank my friend Megan who supported me through the whole process! She stayed with me and helped me by watching my children before my inlaws came to get them. She also sacrificed time with her own daughter and husband to stay with me through the labor and delivery. Her prayers for me helped in ways she'll never know.

Last but not least, to Jan, our midwife, what can I even say? Jan, if you're reading this, I think you know what I want to say but can't even begin to put into proper words. THANK YOU. God has blessed you with one amazing talent; thank you for letting Him use you to bless others like my husband and me. We could not have done it without you. You have not only been a great midwife, but we consider you a friend of our family now. Thank you Jan, from the bottom of our hearts, thank you.

Nicole Henegar