My Son's Home Birth 7/14/04

Being that I work as a certified nurse-midwife, I had witnessed enough births to know that birth is an unpredictable miracle. I also know through my experience that in most cases it is best if the process is supported and respected instead of intervened with. When I found out I was expecting my first baby, I knew right away that I wanted to give birth at home. I also knew that every labor and birth is so different that I couldn't really prepare or plan for how I wanted the birth to be. I just hoped that I would have an efficient labor and that I would find the grace to deal with it on the day it happened.

My pregnancy was really enjoyable, and I wasn't really worried when I went a week overdue. I could tell the baby was growing quite a bit that last week, so I knew the baby was well-nourished inside and would come out when he or she was ready. I started taking some herbal supplements that Jan gave me at a week overdue, to encourage my body to be ready for labor.

The day my labor started, I felt that it would be soon. It took me several hours to try to determine if I was in labor or not. I had felt like I ate too much that day, just kind of uncomfortably full, and sometimes kind of crampy. I gardened and even went for a short bike ride that evening. That night I did some shopping with my mom, who was staying in town with my sister and planned to come to the birth. While shopping, I thought I might be in early labor, but I didn't say anything.

When my husband came home from work around 10 pm, I was having some occasional strong contractions, but nothing really strong or persistent. I kind of thought I'd be in labor later that night, though, so we cleaned up the house a little, and I told him to go to bed because I suspected I'd be waking him up later to be with me in labor. I couldn't sleep, though, because I was starting to get stronger contractions.

Around 2 am I got pretty uncomfortable. I felt with my hand, and felt the bag of water and the baby's head behind it, and felt that my cervix was opening. I couldn't believe it! I took a shower, and felt very happy that I was definitely in labor and that things seemed to be progressing well. I made a point to enjoy a leisurely shower, knowing that after the baby was born it would probably be a while before I'd take another leisurely shower. After that, I woke up my husband and told him that although I was doing okay, I thought I better call some people, knowing that it would take Jan a while to get to my house, and knowing that it would take a while to set up the birthing pool.

I called my mom and Jan at 3 am, and then I went outside into the screen porch and labored. It was a beautiful summer night, and the air felt so good outside. I just felt like I needed to be outside, and so I stayed there. When my mom came at about 3:30, I was very grateful for her presence, and she sat outside and drank coffee while I stood and walked and labored. We had a nice conversation between the contractions. Jan arrived at about 4:30, and I still wanted to be outside. I told her that earlier I had felt a big water bag and the baby's head, so she and my husband started filling the birthing pool.

The birds started singing, and the sun came up, and I just kept laboring. I got to a point where I definitely wanted to do something different, but I didn't know what. I wanted to get in the shower but we were waiting for the water heater to heat more water for the birthing pool. I wandered around in the house for a while, and by then my coworker who was planning to be at the birth was there, too. I felt very calm and surrounded by caring people. I wasn't sure what to do, though, until I could get into the water. Jan checked and I was 8 ¸ cm, and she seemed surprised, but I wasn't. I cried a little and held my husband.

Soon I felt pushy and the water was ready. I got into the water and soon started pushing. They had put the birthing pool in the baby's room. My mom, my coworker, my husband, Jan, and Lucky were around me. Everyone got chairs and encouraged me, and I pushed. I was hoping pushing would be a relief, but it wasn't. It hurt, and I just wanted to be finished. I pushed as hard as I could. I so badly wanted to be finished pushing, and I thought maybe I'd have more leverage if I got out of the water and pushed. So Jan and Lucky helped me out of the water, and I pushed next to the birthing pool, squatting. That felt good until my legs got tired. Then Jan got her birthing stool and I sat on that and pushed. The birthing stool was uncomfortable, and I probably wouldn't have used it for very many pushes at all, except that someone put a mirror on the floor and I could see my baby's head starting to crown. I was absolutely amazed, I wanted everyone to see the miracle I was seeing. A few pushes later and the baby was born, and cried right away. I lifted him up and was elated to see that we had a son!

I feel like at that moment the whole universe shifted or expanded to make room for our son's presence. I never imagined I could feel such an intense love. A minute later my sister walked in. She herself had given birth only a week earlier, and when she had called my mom's cell phone to see how things were going and didn't get an answer, she packed up her newborn son and drove over, suspecting I'd be giving birth soon. She opened the door to hear my son crying. I'm so grateful she arrived to hear such a lovely sound.

I absolutely loved my pregnancy and birth experience. I was so glad to not have any testing that I didn't think was necessary. I was glad that no one tried to tell me I needed an ultrasound or any other testing that isn't necessary in normal pregnancy. I was grateful to have my wishes respected, and grateful to be cared for by people who believe that birth is normal, because it is. I wish more women would consider birthing at home. For healthy women with healthy pregnancies, it's what makes the most sense. If I had had complications or needed intervention, I would be grateful to live in a city with plentiful health care resources to help me and my baby. I was exponentially more grateful however, to have been blessed with a healthy pregnancy and a healthy baby, and to have the opportunity to let him birth into our home, where we hope to nurture him forever in safety and familiarity.

If you are a woman considering home birth, do not be afraid. It is a wonderful option for many women, so please consider it carefully. It was the most incredible high for me to give birth the way I did, and my hope is that all women will consider opening themselves to such an amazing experience.